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^ He doesn't have any half-decent Dictionary of The English Language memorized.

corpus:
2) the body of a person or animal (esp. after death)
^ Probably also calls dolphins "porpoises".
^ He misspelled dolphin on porpoise.
^ Misspells magic all the time, which is why his spells backfire.
^ He backs into fires frequently which is why he always smells like bacon.
^ He eats back bacon and burns it, which is why he's always using fire extinguishers.
^ He often makes the first post on a new page, so that no one knows who he is posting about.
^ wrote the Yellow Pages book
^ Made the pages yellow.
^ wondered why the book smelled like urine
^ Decided they needed a brown tint.
^ He understands the relationship between sympathetic lightning and magneto aerodynamics.
^ Thinks "magneto aerodynamics" is when Magneto sends Wolverine flying away.
^ Thinks he does that by giving Wolverine a plane ticket.
^ Tries to smuggle his dachshund (named "Strudel") into the concerto of the midnight sun.