I be in fer Dock Hand.
Ahoy, laddy! Come 'ere, to raise a jolly old grog to Cap'n B! Me gentleman o' fortune cook Long Joe; I wield big pan, that be 'o 'o, as them I've 'it in the 'ead might say; nobody stand then, even the toughest arr, matey. Ye look at scratches on me leg. Don't be shy, brin' grog an' sit 'ere, an' 'earrr...
Some time ago I've served under a Cap'n Slimy Eel, may devil not let 'im go out o' 'ell, in "See Foul Beast". Yarr, ye 'ear, inside... Pour me a grog... Cap'n been the devil incarnate an' an' no one plundered ships an' widows like this here slimy scoundrel. Raise a grog to Cap'n Eel! An' 'earrr...
Once upon a time we set sail on the "Yellowed Pearl" pinnace, when an island with a geyser started chasin' us in the middle o' the ocean. Everyone turned as pale as baby pissin' in 'er stinkin' diapers, but the Cap'n 'e laughed daft like a devil an' ordered us to attack an' board damned rocky stalker. Suddenly, the island opened its 'uge mouth an' with one snap it crushed an' swallowed our pinnace.
Gimme mug! Me throat went dry...
In a belly o' the big fish - ye be clever as damned, arr, matey, so ye already know, that there been the big fish - Cap'n gathered all survivors an' claimed this here beast to be our new gentleman o' fortune ship, an' named it "Sea Foul Beast". So we started collectin' the treasures from all the ships in the belly o' the sea foul beast. What been there? Jolly Spanish galleons with their 'olds full o' gold, gentleman o' fortune sloops 'eavy with booty, English an' Dutch merchant ships with chests filled to the brim with gold coins, even French barques with perfumes an' jewelry in the damn to the depths ladies' cabins. An' the big foul beast, under the command o' Cap'n Eel, continued to attack new ships, which 'e apparently confused with the whales on which it fed.
An' we would 'ave remained rich fer the rest o' our damn to the depths days if it weren't fer that there German Old Graf, this here scoundrel from the deepest, darkest abyss. When we found 'im in the belly o' the fish, we demanded a ransom as we would from any castaway, who survived the beast's attack. But 'e just laughed an' took a snuffbox out o' 'is 'ose's pocket, 'e took a 'andful o' snuff an' blew it out into direction o' the big fish nostrils. The hurricane of a gargantuan sneeze shot us 'igh, 'igh into the damn sky, an' then we started plummetin' down...
Where did I end tellin' story up? Let's start there.
I woke up in the middle o' the sea, surrounded by a few gentlemen o' fortune, who 'as survived fallin' into the water. All desperately swimmin' in a deep water, without a lifeboat, grub, an' the cap'n damned command, we 'ad no chance o' survivin'. Suddenly, a dead man's chest fell into the water next to us. Don't flinch! In the belly o' the "Sea Foul Beast" our ship's carpenter made o' wood from some swallowed ships a 'uge an' strong chest fer the treasure. Alas, right after that there, the poor arr, matey woke to the sky a 'uge octopus in the 'old o' the wreck, 'e been searchin' in the foul beast's belly; 'er tender embrace proved fatal. We divided 'is share an' belongings fairly, but no one wanted to take the chest, cause dead's man chest always brings bad luck. An' it be true, because 'er loud splash attracted a 'uge shark to us. We climbed onto the dead man's chest: fifteen men on a top an' one bottle o' rum, which I found inside it. Now ye should order a bottle o' pure rum fer us...
The situation been 'opeless, mine arr, matey: in the middle o' the sea in a big box, bein' circled by a 'uge shark, without a sail or an oar, without any weapon - we was railin' against the damned fate brought by the dead man's chest. Then I came up with a devilish idea: I extended me leg towards shark an' 'e grabbed it with 'is damned teeth...
One time, while I been searchin' the wrecks in the „Sea Foul Beast”, a large fish 'iccupped, causin' an earthquake in its guts. Shipwrecks began to drive aft an' forth across the belly o' the beast. I been tryin' to be gone, ye filthy dog o' their way, but one o' them stroke me with a mast an' crushed completly me damned left leg. Fortunately, the ship's carpenter cut a new one fer me from ironwood; 'e found it by accident, when 'e been surprised to see a broken tooth o' a damn to the depths sea beast on one o' the wrecks - that be 'ow 'ard ironwood be.
So, the shark's bite couldn't penetrate me leg, but 'e dug 'is teeth into it an' 'eld it with all 'is might. Then I grabbed the dead man's chest tightly an', usin' the powerful shark fin, directed it towards the nearest port, which we reached in a short time, an' there the 'arpooneers killed the fish; 'ence the deep scratches on me wooden leg…
What be the matter about ye, laddy? Ye be lyin' under the table...?
The Booty I be after:
1. Cleo - a pirate's tale – Deluxe Ed.
2. The Secret of Monkey Island™: Special Ed.
3. Monkey Island™ 2 Special Edition: LeChuck’s Revenge™
4. Escape from Monkey Island™
5. Don't Starve + Don't Starve: Shipwrecked
6. Abandon Ship