I need a little life advice from you old guys on here. It seems my (oh so dear) friends are doing a good job of replacing myself and our other chums in our wee group. Our list of friends grows shorter every day. Is this an age thing? Growing apart and so on?!
My best friend in particular has made a great deal of effort to get new chums to do everything we once did. I'm not sure if I should be offended or not. It's not like I have done anything to him.
Just curious to know if anyone else ended up in this position in their life.
I'm in a comparable situation - sort of.
My best friend and I had a lot in common (same work, taste in music, political attitude, etc.)
Then he changed his job, moved away, met a woman...now they have three kids, he has new colleagues, with whom he spends most of his free time.
Now, first, we saw each other on a more or less regular base - and it was fun, we still went on concerts, binged, talked about this and that - everything like before.
After a while, however, that changed.
Suddenly, whenever I asked, if we'd go to a concert or have a drink, he refused.
All he wanted to do, was coming over to my place, sitting in my living room and talk about his "new life".
Asking me for my opinion, but then never following my advice...BUT at the next visit, asking for my opinion on the very same topic again.
At every single visit, he started telling me, how much fun he had with his new friends, while also complaining about his new job, the wife and the hassle he went through.
It felt like having one deja-vu after the other.
In short: I was used as a dumpster for all his worries and annoyances, had no fun at all anymore with him being around, and got to hear about how well he liked being with other people (to which he never complained - so my impression, at least).
Long story short: I was the one who cut the connection.
A friend lost? Maybe.
But then again - the friend I once had, was long gone, anyway.
He wanted you to be the "bad guy" in the sense that he wanted you to be the one that cuts "the connection".
That's why his behavior towards you was like that. It was planned. So he can go to his friends and family and then be like "hey look, BreOl72 ditched me". He did not want to be the one that ditches you because then he would come across as the bad guy.
Seems like that to me.
Friendships are nothing but temporary relationships of convenience. People want to be your friends when you bring something valuable to the table. When that stops, so does the friendship.