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"A short staff goes a long way."
"I'm not normally this red and blotchy. My doctor says it might be staph."
^ "No, the sort of shingles I have aren't for roofs."
'At first I had misgivings about facial hair. Then it started to grow on me.'
^ "I had a bright idea; then, my cranium lit up."
"Dammit, Frodo, I'm a wizard, not a doctor!"
"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."
"If you are over forty, get screened for colon cancer. After all, you only have one asterisk."
'Take it to the bridge, they said.'
"Scott!, you've gotta get us outta here..."
"I can nay change the laws of physics, Captain! I've got to have thirty minutes."
"I hope so for your sake, Peregrin. I'm not as forgiving as Sauron."
'Gun? What gun?'
^ “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.”
Wearing a wizard's costume is not half as fun as being one. I realize that now.