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It's our birthday, and we'll rap if we want to!

'Cause you know our rhymes are wack
Feel the beat--you can't go back
It's a free game rap attack
If you wanna win then take a crack

GOG.com, as you possibly know, has turned five. In celebration of us turning five, we like to have gifts for you--let's face it, if not for you, we wouldn't be here. So check out the video with our mad phat beatz yo, laid by MC Enigmatic and the famous DJ Russkat, and then if you're inspired, feel free to drop us lyrics of your own! We'll collect all of the best lyrics and award up to four people 5 GOG.com games of their choice in exchange for their permission to use their lyrics in a proper GOG Birthday Rap video. We may even spring for proper moving pictures for the next one!

Please send us all of your submissions (by which we mean: leave a comment below in the forums) by Friday 20 September 2013 at 0900 Eastern time to enter into the contest.
Post edited September 16, 2013 by TheEnigmaticT
I'm an independent sensation, you'll be capsized
i'm wearing a fez, my rhymes are faster than light
you're tiny, i'm big, you better stop trine
if you try to play me, i'll dial my miami hotline

i'm a hero of might, yes and magic
i'm a legend of grimrock, you're just tragic
I'm the avatar, this is my ultima dis
you fool, you don't even know what a paladin is
In the city ladies look pretty, guys tell jokes so they can seem witty
Tell a funny joke just to get some play, and then you try to make a move and she says no way
Girls are fakin' goodness sakin', they want a man who brings home the....


Hmm, I may have heard this one before...
I'm not a lyricist of any kind (and it'll show).... but you gotta be in it to win it, as the saying goes.
So, uhh, I took a little inspiration, and hoped that I've not butchered it too badly!

Broken discs everywhere
People piratin' on the net, you know they don't care
I can't take the heat, I can't take the noise
Got slow internet, guess I've got no choice
DRM in the install, Limitations on attack
Shady publishers with a DLC pack
I tried to get away, but I couldn't get far
'Cause the hot new release just set a new bar

D-R-Ms got me close to the edge
G-O-G's keepin' me from the ledge
(ah huh-huh-huh)
Post edited September 13, 2013 by Rarehunter_idol
avatar
tinyE: What rhymes with "vagina"?
You may appreciate this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuOLB_fEo2M
It's the legend of Gog and it's pretty rad
those games from Dos are really not bad
RPGs, Point n' clicks and FPS too,
But with your help Gog pulls through
Yeah, go GOG, yeah, Get the games!
Wikki! Wikki wick!

It's the legend of GOG, you parents will help you hook it up, games sold separately

The beat should sound something like this
Post edited September 13, 2013 by stika
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tinyE: What rhymes with "vagina"?
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reaver894: You may appreciate this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuOLB_fEo2M
Very touching. *cry*

I think I'm going to put the line "So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd" on my tombstone.
avatar
reaver894: You may appreciate this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuOLB_fEo2M
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tinyE: Very touching. *cry*

I think I'm going to put the line "So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd" on my tombstone.
theres one about lap dances you might like too
alright folks, here goes DA RHYME!!!!!!! bring the beat!

every day around a lunchtime
I go check out the GOG,
I don't even wanna look at
my gigantic backlog.

so much super-duper classics,
man, it brings out a tear -
I just NEED to play all of them
but that's not what I fear!

GOG is massive, GOG is superb,
but what if its fight fails?
who will offer such good service
that makes happy all males? (and ladies!)

but be sure I'm gonna help you,
so GOG, here is my cash!
I will buy and I will support
till the meteor crash :D

yeah!!!

well, I must admit it's really hard to say out loud and quickly ;) so feel free to amend it if needed ;)
Well, I'm about as white as they come, but I figured I'd give it a shot anyway:

Dr. M be hauntin' your HD drive,
Barrier to entry, that's the way he survives,
GOG bustin' through, takin' games back!
DRM free, yo! No it ain't whack!

All the classics, whenever you please,
Downloadin's easy, downloadin's a breeze!

Community! Games! DRM free!
Ain't no better place than G-O-G!
YO! Homies, I'm BACK!

Got more games than Steam on crack!

Bitches at my pool, all chillin'

Every single one playin' FEZ and WILLIN'

Never be wonderin' if the games are workin!

Any OS, dude...why Miley Cyrus be twerkin? O_o

DON'T GET DISTRACTED, Witcher 2 on sale!

Buy from the Poles, else you phail!

Word. :P
Post edited September 13, 2013 by scampywiak
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tinyE: What rhymes with "vagina"?
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nmillar: Calvin Klein, kinda? North Carolina?
Hooray For Boobies
hey yo! so you want to play a video game
but like me you're paranoid
so much drm making you annoyed
you wonder why some publishers actin' lame
but gog is selling our favorite games
drm-free and keeping it sane

naw holmes! you don't need to fret
once you buy you don't need internet
no limited installs
and no shady business testin' firewalls

it's all very nice
with a fair worldwide price
just one reminder for your brain
why gog is the #1 distributor of video games
Post edited September 14, 2013 by Jonathanimal
Oh god no.
Gee Oh Gee Dot Com
Rockin' it oldskool
Paris to Hong Kong
One price, extra cake
we gonna bake.

Happy birthday GoG.com :)
gog is the best
cool unlike the rest
give me vidyo