What you need to consider is that the features you listed are only features if they're desirable to the customers. If they're not, then they cease being features and start being problems.
A lot of people don't want the "easy" solution that is Steam. Specifically they don't want their games tied to a client, no matter how many nifty little features it has. And that's one reason why it's a problem that more and more games require Steam. It drives people to other platforms (not that other platforms are bad - but the PC will need active gamers to keep it alive and competitive as a platform). Personally I would never buy a game that required Steam - I would get it for Xbox360 instead, or if it was PC only, I would not get it at all.
That is true. For a segment of the market, Steam has undesirable trappings that get in the way of the experience. While there is some hassle involved with steam, and some things that endlessly annoy me, the pros outweigh the cons. I'm connected to friends from multiple online and real life communities, save money in the long run and don't have to worry about digging up the latest patch. Sure, along with that comes Steam constantly trying to install DirectX 9.0c, having to wait for steam to boot up to launch a game and the occasional crash.
I think it's an individual thing. I don't think anyone can just come out and say Steam is bad (well they can, but without any validity). Maybe it's the wrong service for your needs, but that's what is great about the PC market, there are tons of online distributor, unlike the consoles where everything you buy digitally is through one channel.