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You may have read about my irregular sleep earlier, but if you haven't, the gist of it is that I've been so overworked and stressed by studies, work and personal commitments that the last time I slept two good nights in succession was eleven weeks ago. This has caused some very interesting physical and mental symptoms, including depression, lethargy, arrythmia, panic attacks and hallucinations, and I nearly got run over when I accidentally walked at a red light that I genuinely thought was green (and now I'm concerned that I'll do that again at some point). I'm going to see a doctor about this in a few days, so maybe that will sort things out somehow.

Still, the recent past feels like it's been failures all the way. I have been so stressed over my second school and my other responsibilities that my MA thesis for the first one has been going nowhere. Because graduating from the first school is a priority, I've basically dumped the second one altogether for now, so it will go around and come around - bam, a year's delay in there. However, I fear that the damage has already been done (too little sleep means there really isn't a time when I would have the congnitive capacity for thesis writing even if I've got the time now) and that I still won't graduate on time, which would be nothing short of a medium-term disaster.

Funny thing is, I feel anxious and down even though, in many respects, my life is going a hell of a lot better than it has in a long time. Probably better than it ever has, in fact.
Hmm, laptop screen developed a horizontal line going all the way across, about 20% from the top of the screen. Started last night, happened again on boot this morning, but went away about 10 minutes ago on its own.

Hoping it's just a loose connection somewhere. Fortunately, Dell has these really great service manuals that walk you through every single screw and connector from start to finish - makes tearing into these things much easier. A quick check online shows a new 17" 1080 screen is less than $100. Not bad at all.

Shouldn't complain too much, though. For a 4-5 year-old mid-high performance laptop that sees a fair amount of travel, this is first hint of trouble.
1 h4t3 1t 50 /|\|_|ch \|/h3n ppl us3 1337 c3||ph0n3 sp34kz.
Damn - the horizontal line came back. Time to double-check my backups and tear into this thing.

Normally this is an excuse to start shopping for a new unit (upgraded, of course!) but this one really has been a workhorse and deserves at least a little effort to solve this minor glitch.
No internet, at least till wednesday when a technician from my provider will come by to see why my connection did fail. Sending you all greetings from a last minute at my work's PC before my holiday starts.
I'm out of hot cocoa - makes Dark Souls 2 SotFS so much more frustrating.
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AlKim: You may have read about my irregular sleep earlier, but if you haven't, the gist of it is that I've been so overworked and stressed by studies, work and personal commitments that the last time I slept two good nights in succession was eleven weeks ago. This has caused some very interesting physical and mental symptoms, including depression, lethargy, arrythmia, panic attacks and hallucinations, and I nearly got run over when I accidentally walked at a red light that I genuinely thought was green (and now I'm concerned that I'll do that again at some point). I'm going to see a doctor about this in a few days, so maybe that will sort things out somehow.

Still, the recent past feels like it's been failures all the way. I have been so stressed over my second school and my other responsibilities that my MA thesis for the first one has been going nowhere. Because graduating from the first school is a priority, I've basically dumped the second one altogether for now, so it will go around and come around - bam, a year's delay in there. However, I fear that the damage has already been done (too little sleep means there really isn't a time when I would have the congnitive capacity for thesis writing even if I've got the time now) and that I still won't graduate on time, which would be nothing short of a medium-term disaster.

Funny thing is, I feel anxious and down even though, in many respects, my life is going a hell of a lot better than it has in a long time. Probably better than it ever has, in fact.
I think you need to try and find a way to take some time off; it sounds like you need it (and I wouldn't be surprised if a doctor would agree with me).
Boy meets Innkeeper
Innkeeper won't host a GA together...... Life. =p

On a serious note everything is fine. I want but am scared about going to school. I decided about taking a course in IT.... I honestly am freaked out about how a lot people know what they want to be in life and I'm about to be 30 and scrubbing toilets currently and still not sure.... Maybe it's a commitment thing.... Also don't have a GED (Math problems).
Post edited October 24, 2015 by Emachine9643
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Emachine9643: Boy meets Innkeeper
Innkeeper won't host a GA together...... Life. =p

On a serious note everything is fine. I want but am scared about going to school. I decided about taking a course in IT.... I honestly am freaked out about how a lot people know what they want to be in life and I'm about to be 30 and scrubbing toilets currently and still not sure.... Maybe it's a commitment thing.... Also don't have a GED (Math problems).
Hey, aren't you the guy who has a passion for food recipes and posted 1000 recipes here? Have you thought about learning the culinary trade? No matter how bad the economy gets, people will always want to stuff their faces with delicious food at restaurants. And at least you aren't scrubbing toilets at train stations or bus stations. :P Just looking at some of those toilets at those train stations and bus stations...will make you lose your faith in humanity and give you PTSD.
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jepsen1977: I'm out of hot cocoa - makes Dark Souls 2 SotFS so much more frustrating.
That's how jepsen1977 likes to roll! Hot cocoa in one hand, melee weapon in the other. :P
Post edited October 24, 2015 by monkeydelarge
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monkeydelarge: Just looking at some of those toilets at those train stations and bus stations...will make you lose your faith in humanity and give you PTSD.
Someone give this monkey a cookie.
Emachine9643 you will get a job eventually just try a bit harder.
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AlKim: *snip*
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dtgreene: I think you need to try and find a way to take some time off; it sounds like you need it (and I wouldn't be surprised if a doctor would agree with me).
Wish I could. Still, I've rearranged some things now so that I have less on my plate - still a lot, but only the bare minimum. Plus I had a doctor's appointment, and he gave me some medication to help me sleep. The recommended dose makes me very weary the following day, so it's not brilliant for getting things done, but it's better than the alternative.

I took about one-third (it's a small pill and the recommended dose in a quarter of that, so it's hard to measure) of the recommended dose last night, slept well and don't feel more tired than I usually do in the morning, so that's good. I think this will sort me out until the holiday season, after which schoolwork should finally throttle down. Just need to see things through until then.
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Emachine9643: Boy meets Innkeeper
Innkeeper won't host a GA together...... Life. =p

On a serious note everything is fine. I want but am scared about going to school. I decided about taking a course in IT.... I honestly am freaked out about how a lot people know what they want to be in life and I'm about to be 30 and scrubbing toilets currently and still not sure.... Maybe it's a commitment thing.... Also don't have a GED (Math problems).
There is always jobs for IT guys, that's what made me go that direction too :) You could see some free online tutorials on SQL, I personally find it very easy to learn since its so close to English itself :D and is required in most web development jobs + some data mining, database administration jobs (main requirement there!). Also from development point of view I think the difficulty goes this way: web site programming < desktop and database programming < network programming < and embedded being the hardest of them all, however as goes for the pay grades in all of these IT fields I'm totally clueless, but it's got to be good :)
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AlKim: Wish I could. Still, I've rearranged some things now so that I have less on my plate - still a lot, but only the bare minimum. Plus I had a doctor's appointment, and he gave me some medication to help me sleep. The recommended dose makes me very weary the following day, so it's not brilliant for getting things done, but it's better than the alternative.

I took about one-third (it's a small pill and the recommended dose in a quarter of that, so it's hard to measure) of the recommended dose last night, slept well and don't feel more tired than I usually do in the morning, so that's good. I think this will sort me out until the holiday season, after which schoolwork should finally throttle down. Just need to see things through until then.
Can you go without medication, just with some mind tricks, for example to distract yourself from any worries two hours before sleep, and after that to think only about the distraction till the morning, you know the saying that the morning is more wise than the evening right? If a good film/book/game isn't enough to distract you, I would suggest some sports activities better done in groups in order to have some social interactions as a bonus distraction and a food for though later (physical and emotional exhaustion should give you an excellent sleep).
Post edited October 24, 2015 by leon30
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monkeydelarge: That's how jepsen1977 likes to roll! Hot cocoa in one hand, melee weapon in the other. :P
Absolutely - although that might explain why I die so many times in that game. Maybe I should switch out the cocoa with my tower-shield?
:-)
Post edited October 25, 2015 by jepsen1977
The new PM has a slightly less punchabe face.
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ScotchMonkey: The new PM has a slightly less punchabe face.
Since when did Private Messages have faces?