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FraterPerdurabo: If you think that she's too good for you, she probably is. And if you're afraid that she'll leave you, she probably will.

Honestly, your best bet is to change yourself. Go out, meet more people, get more friends, get rid of that social awkwardness, get a hobby, do interesting things, make yourself the guy who you want to be. Girls smell low self-esteem from a mile away. You don't need to have the life of a rock star, but you need to have a life that you are content with and proud of. This will give you confidence.

And if she does leave you, you can always get a new girlfriend. She might be too good for you now and you're terrified of losing her, but if you start going out and meeting new people you'll understand that there are billions of people in this world, a substantial part of who are actually better looking and more interesting than her. Play the numbers!

And good luck.
This is good advice, even if she doesn't leave you, you're both better off for you having done so and made more friends.
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FraterPerdurabo: Oh and a free pro tip of the day, don't be this guy!
http://forum.japantoday.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=976255&fb_source=message
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lowyhong: This post had me in tears.
Holy shit that is awful.
Post edited December 19, 2011 by orcishgamer
Next time you see her, whip it out. Then she'll love you forever.
After coming back today I regret posting this here. I was asking for serious help and people only want to be jerks to me over it. I'm sorry I asked and won't bother you anymore.
A number of people submitted advice they thought could help. A few were silly/jerks, but that should be expected when asking help on personal matters on the internet.

Your girlfriend is with you because you are you. Be yourself. Understand that you are both human, that neither is perfect, and learn to grow.
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Athenvance: Your girlfriend is with you because you are you.
Not to be the resident cynic, but there is no way you know that. Women get with men or stay with men for all manner of reasons, same with men getting with women.
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StingingVelvet: Not to be the resident cynic, but there is no way you know that. Women get with men or stay with men for all manner of reasons, same with men getting with women.
Yes, there is truth in what you say.
If all else fails, consider some perspective from Tim Minchin
Self-proclaimed relationship advisor pH7 - guru certificate pending - to the rescue
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FraterPerdurabo: If you think that she's too good for you, she probably is. And if you're afraid that she'll leave you, she probably will.
Very true. It's human nature to do what we feel is expected of us - expect her to leave you and she will. Turn it around; she's with you, thus she expects you to be with her - so be with her.
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FraterPerdurabo: Honestly, your best bet is to change yourself. Go out, meet more people, get more friends, get rid of that social awkwardness, get a hobby, do interesting things, make yourself the guy who you want to be.
That might be good advice to the majority of people but in this case I think it's crap advice:

1. You don't need to go out to meet people - talking to people online is completely valid and opens up different ways of communicating, some of which are likely easier for you to be comfortable with. Face to face I usually don't talk much, especially not to people I haven't known very long - but I can churn out thousands of words online. Some react with a generic "tl;dr" - that's ok, I'm not interested in them anyway - others actually like it, and might even respond in kind - and those are the ones I'm interested in getting to know. F**k smalltalk and yelling plattitudes into someone's ear at a club.

2. You don't need to meet more people; you need to meet the right people. Most "socially akward" people aren't really socially akward; they're simply introverts trying to live up to the pace and expectations of the extrovert crowd (wich outnumber them about 3 to 1 - and makes about a hundred times more noise). Don't waste too much of your time on people you likely won't even be comfortable hanging out with.

3. Same goes for friends. If you're an introvert, five good friends is likely more than you'll ever need - or want. Real friends take effort. Keep people you meet as acquaintances if possible, but don't try to make them your friends. If they're extroverts, they'll probably think you're friends anyway.

4. Don't get rid of your "akwardness" just like that, instead try figuring out what really is akward about it. If the whole situation feels uncomfortable, it's likely not for you. You can of course learn to cope with it, but make sure it's really worth it before you go down that road. If the situation is mostly comfortable but you feel pressured to contribute or whatever, you usually can't go wrong if you simply relax. Even "zoning out" is better than trying too hard to put your foot in your mouth. It's like playing bass guitar in a band - if you miss something, don't try to catch; just let it go and fall in on the next beat instead. That way you're "ahead" (mentally) rather than behind. When you get the hang of relaxing, start working on timing - a properly timed comment/reflection/joke/whatever adds significantly to its "value", as good timing conveys a sense of being in control. What you say may still be considered akward by some, but it'll more likely be funny-akward rather than weird-akward. Anyway, my point is that your "akwardness" may be a strength rather than a weakness - just don't lump it all together.

5. Yes, having a hobby and doing interesting things is recommended; just don't pick stuff you think others would find interesting - unless you find it interesting as well. I know people you are interested in things I couldn't care less about, yet their interest, knowledge and enthusiasm makes it worth-while listening to them talking about it. It's not as much what you do but how much you care about it. Keep in mind though, if you get someone back to your place to look at your stamp collection, don't show them your stamp collection (and also, wear protection). It's not like you have to fill your life with only those things others find interesting - it's your life and you should decide what to explore - you just don't have to share everything with everyone.

6. "Make yourself the guy you want to be". If it was that easy, "real life" friends would change even faster than facebook friends do. Most of us want to be someone other than we are, mostly because we have to little imagination to realise how that person would actually be in all aspects of life. Every good side is also a bad side, depending on circumstances, and if you're going to be happy existing as your "new you" you need balance. Which means you'll basically just be trading one thing for another. We're all actors and able to "be" just about anyone - with a varying degree of success - but it takes effort. Being outside who we are on the inside takes the least amount of effort/energy, so that ought to be your starting point. It's usually more cost-effective to improve your good traits and minimize the exposure of your less good traits than "creating" new traits. And it will both feel and seem more sincere. It's better to be an improved version of who you are than the person you think you want to be. Regardless, "changing yourself" should never be a goal or a mean to an end - it may happen along the way, but it has no value of its own what so ever.
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FraterPerdurabo: Girls smell low self-esteem from a mile away. You don't need to have the life of a rock star, but you need to have a life that you are content with and proud of. This will give you confidence.
They do. But they don't necessarily react the same way. Some girls are attracted to low self-esteem because they feel less threatened by it. Granted, you won't likely find any of those out clubbing, but there are quite a few of them out there - it's not a gender-specific issue. You might not want to get (too) romantically involved with them though. If you can increae each others' eslf-esteem mutually, it's great. However, if you take turns pulling each others down because of insecurity etc, get out as soon as possible. There's nothing wrong with either of you, you just don't work well together. Yes, you should be there for your friends/partners, but in this case you're not doing any good by being there.

Feeling good about your life is key. This includes what you're actually doing with your life, especially if you're male (which I've been assuming throughout).
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FraterPerdurabo: And if she does leave you, you can always get a new girlfriend. She might be too good for you now and you're terrified of losing her, but if you start going out and meeting new people you'll understand that there are billions of people in this world, a substantial part of who are actually better looking and more interesting than her. Play the numbers!
Yes, if you leave her or she leaves you, you can get a new girlfriend. Don't focus too much on it, though - if you really care for her, let her be the only one - don't add potential and/or imaginary future girlfriends into the mix. What you have now is an experience you'll grow on, regardless of how long you stay together.

Don't try to play the numbers - it'll only work to your disadvatage. For those able to chat up someone in less than a minute, it's a valid strategy (disregarding morals etc - this post is getting long enough as it is), although it might not be any more efficient. If you're like me, most of the effort is spent just getting to the point where she wants to spend a whole night talking with you. Playing the numbers like this takes more effort than it's worth. However, when you get to the point where you talk for hours, you're basically set - she's already comitted. (That's my experience anyway; if she's not open for intimacy at that point, it's most likely not because of you.)

If you, at some point, want to go out, meet new people, make friends etc, do it. It'll probably be a fun and interesting experience. Especially if you look at it as an experience rather than a step on the road to "become someone". (I've had some great times when going outside my comfort zone and doing things I usually don't do - I highly recommend it for times when life's good and you feel adventureous.) It has to be something you want to do, not something you feel you should/have to do; a surprsie gift to yourself with no strings attached.

English isn't my native language so I probably take the expression "stepping up one's game" a bit too literally, but I'd like to say it's not a game, nor should be treated as such. You're not her gigolo, nor is your task to entertain her. You're a couple, and as said above, that means doing things together. Don't focus too much on doing things for her (although solving problems, helping out etc boosts the male confidence), but rather on doing things with her. Often it doesn't matter much what you do as long as you experience something together, preferably something new. So, don't take her to the same old places (even though it's comforting to know what you'll get) but try out new places - if you have the worst time of your life there, you'll have had the worst time of your life together, it'll be an experience the two of you shared and thus actually a good thing (yes, women are weird..). If you also have a backup plan you didn't tell her about, that "saves the day", you'll get gold stars.

Anyway..
If this made sense, make use of it as you wish - there's no single "solution". If it didn't make much sense or goes against how you feel about things, then you have a different personality type than I imagined (I can be wrong - imagine that =P) - in which case, just ingore this rant.

Good luck =)
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DoABarrelR0ll: After coming back today I regret posting this here. I was asking for serious help and people only want to be jerks to me over it. I'm sorry I asked and won't bother you anymore.
Dude, filter out the good advice mate. Obviously FraterPerdurabo is on the right track, and pH7's POV is reasonable too. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but the community can't do much but advise you on general bases. If you're looking for hand-holding and step-by-step guides on what to do, your best bet would be to look out for gurus like David Deangelo, Style, Swingcat, Ross Jeffries etc, and even then most of the underground PUAs don't want to be held accountable for your actions by giving you straight advice. They'll roughly tell you the same thing that people like FraterPerdurabo have said too.

Look what you've done, keeveek :(
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lowyhong: If you're looking for hand-holding and step-by-step guides on what to do, your best bet would be to
Not do that.
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DoABarrelR0ll: After coming back today I regret posting this here. I was asking for serious help and people only want to be jerks to me over it. I'm sorry I asked and won't bother you anymore.
This is social awkwardness. You should get rid of it.

Almost everybody tried to help you seriously, your reaction is quite inapropriate.
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pH7: Self-proclaimed relationship advisor pH7 - guru certificate pending - to the rescue
I read ever bit of your post and would like to thank you for taking so much out of your day to not only type all of that but giving me such a serious and helpful answer. I truly appreciate it.