^ suspects that he's absolutely right in one of his two assertions, but doesn't know which, or can prove it, and is quickly going nuts ;)

^ His left ear moonlights as a prison shiv.

^ is training hard to become zorro, but still fails at signing with his sword well in the target.

^ Once mistook a wine barrel for a crows nest, the stains didn't wash out for weeks.

^ uses Japanese flags to spread his message of positivism and self-improvement, but the Japanese Government is considering to take legal action against him

^ Once sought legal action against Konami for what he mistakenly perceived as negative portrayal of the Vulcan people in Metal Gear Solid.

^ Failed on his latest attempt on a blind taste test between Pepsi and Coke.

^ failed on his latest attempt to remove those facial spikes through recombination of DNA

^ failed on his latest attempt to take off that blue shirt, to have it washed.

^ hasn't cleaned or polished the saddle of his horse in five years [*]

[*] or: from five years ago? (Not sure) ;)

^ has just checked in his captain's log for the events recorded about 5 years ago and the last time when his shirt was washed. He found no record that his shirt had ever been washed in the entire the captain's log.

Wished his shirt was "clean" like Peter O'Toole aka Lawrence of Arabia characterised the desert in the eponymous film.

^ Helped Thespian* clean his ginormous Vulcan ears as he had a package of Q-Tips in his saddle bag, but forgot about washing that blue shirt.

Ninj'd

^ Ninj'd me for no apparent reason - so now he must die

Seems to be no fan of Peter O'Toole for having ill timed the epic juxtaposition of "shirt" and "desert". :-p

^ is now fleeing from the G.O.G.A.G. (GOG Assassins Guild), hired by Lou to deal with the job of killing him