After far too much tinkering, I got it to work.
Things to note:
*If you use a program other than 7Zip, your file structure might be messed up on extraction. This gave me no end of headaches.
proved invaluable - my computer's native resolution is 1900x1200 - at least, that's what I thought. Changing that to 1920
x 1200 made the thing finally work!
Moral of the story: use 7zip, trust the SHS forums, and above all, listen to Ostwind83, who deserves a tech support salary!