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JudasIscariot: I wish I could conquer the world.
Granted, but being responsible for the entire planet quickly wears you down and you abdicate and turn to fly fishing instead.

I wish politicians were a lot smarter.
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Sandy_Claws: I wish politicians were a lot smarter.
Granted, now they are smarter. Incidentally, they all quit because, and I quote "you must think we're dense to work for such ungrateful citizens". Huh.

I wish to be more experienced.
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Sandy_Claws: I wish politicians were a lot smarter.
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Titanium: Granted, now they are smarter. Incidentally, they all quit because, and I quote "you must think we're dense to work for such ungrateful citizens". Huh.

I wish to be more experienced.
Granted, but nobody likes you because your smarter than them.

I wish for a invulnerable potato with twin gattling guns
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Titanium: Granted, now they are smarter. Incidentally, they all quit because, and I quote "you must think we're dense to work for such ungrateful citizens". Huh.

I wish to be more experienced.
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sloganvirst: Granted, but nobody likes you because your smarter than them.

I wish for a invulnerable potato with twin gattling guns
Grante, but the potato is alive and it turns on you first before going after all humanity.
I wish I could think of a wish.
Granted, but as you come to the proper realization, it becomes cyclopean and indescribable in your mind causing you to lose sanity.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.
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sloganvirst: Granted, but nobody likes you because your smarter than them.

I wish for a invulnerable potato with twin gattling guns
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Ric1987: Grante, but the potato is alive and it turns on you first before going after all humanity.
I wish I could think of a wish.
granted, but your wish is corrupted and it turns on you somehow
I wish to know what I know now while I was a kid

EDIT
Ninja... oh well - lets go for the seccond one ;)

Granted, but someone choke on you and you will become only reason that Oscar Meyer bankrupt
I wish to know what I know now while I was a kid
Post edited August 05, 2012 by Skreczi
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Skreczi: I wish to know what I know now while I was a kid
Granted.

What? Isn't having to live through your teens twice corrupted enough for you? Ok, you end up in a mental ward because you keep forgetting what's already happened and what's yet to come.

I wish watching movies in 3D didn't give me a headache.
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Skreczi: I wish to know what I know now while I was a kid
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Sandy_Claws: Granted.

What? Isn't having to live through your teens twice corrupted enough for you? Ok, you end up in a mental ward because you keep forgetting what's already happened and what's yet to come.

I wish watching movies in 3D didn't give me a headache.
Granted, but now you realize most movies suck anyway.


Wish I were taller...
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Licurg: Granted, but now you realize most movies suck anyway.

Wish I were taller...
Granted, you're now a conehead.

I wish alcohol in large amounts were less damaging to the body.
Granted, now large amounts of air are incredibly damageing.

I wish that Willy was free.
Post edited August 05, 2012 by DrOblivious
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DrOblivious: I wish that Willy was free.
Granted, Willy Pickton is now free and has moved in next door to you.

I wish I had some sapient pearwood drum sticks.
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DrOblivious: I wish that Willy was free.
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Sandy_Claws: Granted, Willy Pickton is now free and has moved in next door to you.

I wish I had some sapient pearwood drum sticks.
Granted and now you must play in a drum off against Neil Peart to determine who lives and who dies.

I wish I had more time to play computer games.
Granted, you are no longer employed, giving you plenty of gameing time.

I wish for a teenage mutant ninja turtle.
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Lou: Granted and now you must play in a drum off against Neil Peart to determine who lives and who dies.

I wish I had more time to play computer games.
Granted, but being unemployed means you can't afford any new (old) games.

I wish Neil Peart could be resurrected.
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DrOblivious: I wish for a teenage mutant ninja turtle.
Granted, but now you have to live in the sewers.
Post edited August 05, 2012 by Sandy_Claws
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Lou: Granted and now you must play in a drum off against Neil Peart to determine who lives and who dies.

I wish I had more time to play computer games.
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Sandy_Claws: Granted, but being unemployed means you can't afford any new (old) games.

I wish Neil Peart could be resurrected.
Considering he's not dead, it's kinda hard to grant that wish.