Granted. All TV shows are now high fantasy.

I wish for Microsoft or Bethesda to be the next big publisher signed here.

Both microsoft and bethesda come here. But after 1 year 2 months 11 days 22 hours, they remember that they hate fair pricing and DRM-FREE, and depart, WITHOUT prior notice or farewell buyouts.

Now, i wish for the end of the world to come. The one that was fairy-taled to be on 2012, and never arrived. Like NOW!

Granted. You die. The world ends with you.


Count your blessings. It was almost an ebola reference instead. :p


Oops. Forgot to wish. I wish pasta was a low calorie food.

Past is now a low-calorie food...and you develop allergies so serious that a mere noodle on your lips can kill you.


I wish I enjoyed FPS games more.

Granted. You now love FPS games and you become consumed with them, unable to care about anything else.


I wish could create anything I can think of (like green lantern, but permanent objects).

Granted, but you now can only think of a life-size wax replica of Roger Moore.

I wish I could travel to and from the past at will (as a non-interactive observer only).

That is a great ability to have. You could become the world's greatest detective by going back to the time of crime and see what happened. It's just too bad that your brain can't handle the stress of time travel. You can't remember whatever you see in the past.

I wish I have Spider-Man's spider-sense.

Granted, but Venom is your neighbor.

I wish for Steam being sued for lack of Fair Price Package.

Granted, but they win the case and now charge you even higher prices. ;-P

I wish humanity had already invented an operable transporter for travelling on earth.

Granted! History has been altered so that humanity had invented a Star Trek-style transporter some seventy years ago...unfortunately, it was Hitler's scientists who invented it, causing the Third Reich to win the second World War, and eventually conquer the world. Congratulations, you now live in a Nazi World Order. (On an almost-as-unfortunate note, that silly Hitler/Chaplin mustache never went out of fashion, instead becoming even more popular as time went on. You bastard.)

I wish the Planet Of the Apes movie franchise never existed.

Granted! Planet of the Snapes is however getting its 5th remake.

I wish EA never existed.

Granted! The letter combination "EA" has been replaced by "THP" in all words in thpch and every language that uses the Roman alphabet.

I wish I had something better to do on a Friday night. (Well, besides sleeping. :) )

Granted.

Welcome to Viking Rape Club. First rule of Viking Rape Club is the new guy gets strapped to the barrel for the first six hours. That's basically the only rule of Viking Rape Club...enjoy


I wish my bank account would double every time I sneezed.

Welcome to Friday night bingo at the local senior center!

The really sad part is, this has become the highlight of your week.

I wish I had a pet turtle.

You get a pet turtle, then this happens.

I wish I had more herbal tea.