Granted, but you find yourself so annoying that start ignoring your own messages.

I wish to be a dandy for a day.

Granted. You alter the timeline significantly due to your modern knowledge and equipment.

I wish GOG ruled the world.

Granted, but it goes mad with power and uses DRM to enslave the world's population.

I wish I had a decent singing voice.

You now have a great singing voice... but only in the shower. Recording yourself in there won't be too much of a problem, but any live concerts are gonna be extremely embarrassing!

I wish snowball fighting was an official Olympic sport.

Granted! You're now the official target for the "heavy-weight-vicious-snowball-with-rocks-hidden-inside precision lobbing" category. Good luck for the next week.

I wish I could catch up on my (quite enormous) backlog of paperworks.

Granted. You finish all your paperworks. You die of old age 5 minutes later.

I wish I could play videogames forever and never lose any of the fun.

granted, but you go mad from never being allowed to do anything else ever and eventually die because you aren't allowed to even sleep, eat, or use the restroom.

i wish rabbits were hidden monkey rats.

Granted; but they all turn into Sumatran Rat-Monkeys hungry for flesh and blood. And sex.

I wish Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger came back...

Granted. The Pretzel buns are hard pretzels.The bacon is Canadian, and the cheese is fake.

I wish it resembled something akin to warmth here. I'd take low 40s. Fahrenheit, that is.

Granted, he's your 40 degrees. Hell, you want to be really warm? Take 400 degrees!

I wish that the final episode of Dexter hadn't been so heart wrenching :(

Granted. Franchise Zombie!

I wish Spongebob was immediately ceased.

Granted, but only so that in doing so, another series of the Simpsons can be started on nick.

I wish I could have an actual working portal gun.

Granted, but it malfunctions. While you step through a portal, both portals close, causing you to get split in half.

I wish I had all the Chaos Emeralds.

Granted. Too bad your arch-rival has all seven Dragon Balls.

I wish I could hibernate right through the rest of this godforsaken winter.

Granted, you hibernate through the winter. Unfortunately, the human body is not designed for this particular feat of endurance, and you die of thirst several days in.

I wish I had a compartmentalized mind. Three or four minds would be nice.