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dirtyharry50: Call me stupid but I think skipping Kotaku is smart actually. :D
Thanks for reminding me to check Kotaku. :) There's one thing I read there regularly and that's "This Week in the Business", which is basically the headlines from GameIndustry International.
This thread shouldn't be let to die. It should be executed brutally, as an example.
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dirtyharry50: Men have a deserved reputation as a group for being obnoxious in their advances towards women. A woman being dressed attractively isn't a license to act like an asshole towards her. It is one thing to notice an attractive woman in public. It is quite another to be leering at her or worse.
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StingingVelvet: He turned to look at her, then he kept walking...
Well he didn't just turn to look, he did a 360, it's a bit more than the standard turn to look...
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dirtyharry50: Call me stupid but I think skipping Kotaku is smart actually. :D
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ET3D: Thanks for reminding me to check Kotaku. :) There's one thing I read there regularly and that's "This Week in the Business", which is basically the headlines from GameIndustry International.
LOL! Well maybe I am wrong and could just skip the social commentary stuff. Then again, there is so much news and fun here on GOG I am not sure I have time for more.
Post edited June 23, 2013 by dirtyharry50
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htown1980: Well he didn't just turn to look, he did a 360, it's a bit more than the standard turn to look...
Yeah, I wonder why they didn't behead him already!
Hey, six pages, what's everyone talking about?

Oh...

*leaves*
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StingingVelvet: He turned to look at her, then he kept walking...
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htown1980: Well he didn't just turn to look, he did a 360, it's a bit more than the standard turn to look...
Sigh, and do we actually know that he was looking at her? You'd be surprised how often something like that turns out to be something completely different.

This thread is almost as bad as that one over at slashdot where a female developer accused somebody of rape, failed to substantiate it in any way, and the bulk of the comments were taking here side, despite a complete lack of any evidence.

If women collectively want to be taken seriously, perhaps remembering that men have rights too, would be a great place to start. It's really hard for me to care about most of this stuff, when I know damn well that women get away with a lot of crap that they shouldn't be getting away with.
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dirtyharry50: LOL! Well maybe I am wrong and could just skip the social commentary stuff. Then again, there is so much news and fun here on GOG I am not sure I have time for more.
It's a pretty low quality site. Still, that doesn't mean there's nothing worthwhile on it. Really, I'm just reading that single post once a week, and I'm considering switching to just reading GameIndustry International directly (via RSS).
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Bloodygoodgames: One thing I am always shocked at when I go back to the US and to the UK is how BIG women are. Women in Asia are small, thin and in great shape. So many western women now, sadly, are very overweight and out of shape but, when you've been around Thai women for a couple of years it's a HUGE shock to see an average-sized western woman. they're like giants and why do they let themselves get so fat??? :(
Yep, I had the same reaction when returning to the US. Its not like anything changed in the two years I was gone, just upon returning, it was much more noticeable. I don't go to the gym (tho I should) yet I'm not overweight simply cause I don't eat that much. Asian women eat much less than western women. Portion size is also a big factor.

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Bloodygoodgames: Oh and as for attractive Japanese women -- multiply that by about 100, and that's how many attractive women you'll see in Thailand, everywhere you go :)
I still kick myself for not taking a trip to Thailand when I had the chance. I basically planned a trip during Christmas break. The whole 5 day trip would only cost around $650. But then I talked to my parents and they really wanted me to come home for Christmas, so I went home instead. Now, if I wanted to do that same trip, the cost would be double because of the much longer flight.

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timppu: Of course nothing is black and white, in some cases compliments and such may be suitable and brighten the working day. Use common sense. There's a fine line between compliments and feeling like you're being picked up.
In the sexual harassment "class" at work, they say not to make any compliments because even if you think making a comment on a new hairstyle or dress is harmless, it could be taken the wrong way. I find this ridiculous, but knowing some people are quick to take offense and/or threaten lawsuits, companies have to cover their asses.
Post edited June 23, 2013 by CrowTRobo
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Piranjade: Being a gamer girl (well, now "gamer woman" if something like that exists) I know that strange situations can arise and I also know that many women don't dare to say anything in such situations for fear that by "rejecting" the man they might cause aggression on his part. They just don't dare to be confrontational.
And I believe that's a mistake.
Look the guy in the eye, smile, and say "This is too close for me and I don't like to be touched this way."
Sadly many women still haven't learned to do that. But it works like a charm in most cases. And if it doesn't you can still freak out, lash out and alert security.
Don't even smile. If you smile, there's always that chance you'll accidentally come off like you're testing him or flirting, especially if he's into PUA or if he's drunk. The clearest way to communicate that you don't want to be touched/bothered is just by looking him in the eye and stating in a stright-up no-nonsense manner, "Please don't touch me." or "Please leave me alone." Make sure there is as close to zero chance of misinterpretation as possible if you genuinely want the guy to stop doing whatever he's doing. Don't be rude about it, just make sure the message is clear and you're not giving any contradicting signals.
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Piranjade: Being a gamer girl (well, now "gamer woman" if something like that exists) I know that strange situations can arise and I also know that many women don't dare to say anything in such situations for fear that by "rejecting" the man they might cause aggression on his part. They just don't dare to be confrontational.
And I believe that's a mistake.
Look the guy in the eye, smile, and say "This is too close for me and I don't like to be touched this way."
Sadly many women still haven't learned to do that. But it works like a charm in most cases. And if it doesn't you can still freak out, lash out and alert security.
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Dashe: Don't even smile. If you smile, there's always that chance you'll accidentally come off like you're testing him or flirting, especially if he's into PUA or if he's drunk. The clearest way to communicate that you don't want to be touched/bothered is just by looking him in the eye and stating in a stright-up no-nonsense manner, "Please don't touch me." or "Please leave me alone." Make sure there is as close to zero chance of misinterpretation as possible if you genuinely want the guy to stop doing whatever he's doing. Don't be rude about it, just make sure the message is clear and you're not giving any contradicting signals.
I think we have different kinds of situations in mind.
I'm more thinking of situations in which there could be a genuine misunderstanding and not drunk groping.
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Dashe: Don't even smile. If you smile, there's always that chance you'll accidentally come off like you're testing him or flirting, especially if he's into PUA or if he's drunk. The clearest way to communicate that you don't want to be touched/bothered is just by looking him in the eye and stating in a stright-up no-nonsense manner, "Please don't touch me." or "Please leave me alone." Make sure there is as close to zero chance of misinterpretation as possible if you genuinely want the guy to stop doing whatever he's doing. Don't be rude about it, just make sure the message is clear and you're not giving any contradicting signals.
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Piranjade: I think we have different kinds of situations in mind.
I'm more thinking of situations in which there could be a genuine misunderstanding and not drunk groping.
Ah, right. The phrase "This is too close for me and I don't like to be touched that way" sounded a lot like the guy was touching the girl inappropriately. In my book, if the flirter is touching an unreceptive flirtee at all, or just goes straight up to the flirtee and starts touching them without waiting for any kind of a signal or without establishing some kind of rapport, they've crossed the line. Then again, you may be from a culture where physical contact is a more common means of communication.
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Piranjade: Being a gamer girl (well, now "gamer woman" if something like that exists) I know that strange situations can arise and I also know that many women don't dare to say anything in such situations for fear that by "rejecting" the man they might cause aggression on his part. They just don't dare to be confrontational.
And I believe that's a mistake.
Look the guy in the eye, smile, and say "This is too close for me and I don't like to be touched this way."
Sadly many women still haven't learned to do that. But it works like a charm in most cases. And if it doesn't you can still freak out, lash out and alert security.
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Dashe: Don't even smile. If you smile, there's always that chance you'll accidentally come off like you're testing him or flirting, especially if he's into PUA or if he's drunk. The clearest way to communicate that you don't want to be touched/bothered is just by looking him in the eye and stating in a stright-up no-nonsense manner, "Please don't touch me." or "Please leave me alone." Make sure there is as close to zero chance of misinterpretation as possible if you genuinely want the guy to stop doing whatever he's doing. Don't be rude about it, just make sure the message is clear and you're not giving any contradicting signals.
Or perhaps rather than being ridiculous, we can recognize that women are also contributing to the problem here.

Men are expected to hit on the women, which means that we're expected to be able to figure out the difference between a friendly smile, and a flirting smile. The difference between a coy hair flip and just wanting to get the hair out of the face. Figuring out when the woman that's flirting with us is interested, and when she just wants us to do something for her.

The way you put it, trivializes just how dangerous it can be approaching women. The response we get, is often times completely random and unpredictable. And a sexual harassment complaint, even with out merit, can easily wind up with us being out of work, or sued.

This here is a good example of what I'm talking about: http://seattletimes.com/html/opinion/2021142903_daniellecampoamoropedxml.html She's literally suggesting that men behave in a way that's extremely dangerous for us, and likely to wind up with her being married to somebody that likes hitting women.

We're getting chewed out for being more respectful and not magically knowing which women are actually interested in us.

But, ultimately, women are far, far worse when it comes to men. There's nothing that a man can do that can come close to the damage that women do via paternity fraud. Which as far as I can tell occurs in about 3-4% of pregnancies in the US according to the wikipedia.
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Dashe: Ah, right. The phrase "This is too close for me and I don't like to be touched that way" sounded a lot like the guy was touching the girl inappropriately. In my book, if the flirter is touching an unreceptive flirtee at all, or just goes straight up to the flirtee and starts touching them without waiting for any kind of a signal or without establishing some kind of rapport, they've crossed the line. Then again, you may be from a culture where physical contact is a more common means of communication.
I think the misunderstanding can already begin when both parts try to assess whether it is a flirty situation or not.

And then different people feel different about their personal space even within one culture. What's OK for one person within a flirty or none-flirty situation might not be OK for another. *shrugs* So "inappropriate" can be quite stretchy.

And what one person interprets as a signal that some kind of behaviour, like touching, is OK now, might not even have been a signal from the other person.

People are complicated but when the situation up to that point was friendly I try to believe that it is all a harmless misunderstanding and try to react accordingly. Like I said, I can still get more loud, serious etc. if it doesn't work.


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hedwards: But, ultimately, women are far, far worse when it comes to men. There's nothing that a man can do that can come close to the damage that women do via paternity fraud.
Not saying that women are better than men (because they are not) , but you really cannot think of anything more damaging that another human being can do to you than paternity fraud?
Post edited June 23, 2013 by Piranjade
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hedwards: But, ultimately, women are far, far worse when it comes to men. There's nothing that a man can do that can come close to the damage that women do via paternity fraud.
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Piranjade: Not saying that women are better than men (because they are not) , but you really cannot think of anything more damaging that another human being can do to you than paternity fraud?
Stealing a portion of ones wages for the rest of their life, and possibly trapping them in a marriage they don't want, I'm not sure I can think of many things that will ruin a life more thoroughly than that.