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Using the technology of tomorrow to bring you the excitement of the yesteryear!

GOG.com proudly presents the next step in DRM-free retro-gaming: [url=http://www.gog.com/retromator4000]Retromator 4000, a universal nostalgifier for PC & Mac. Our software engineers are very close to producing a stable version, and we're very excited to finally be able to tell you about this revolutionary piece of software. Even more so, because very soon we'll be able to invite you to take part in public alpha testing of the app! (That is as soon as we get the 0.97a version up and running.*) We're glad that GOG.com users will be the first to take part in our next revolution. Or rather: re-evolution ;-)

Ok, but what's Retromator 4000, you might ask, and what does it do exactly? Without going into technical specifics of quantum-level digital retro engineering, let's just put it as simply as possible: it takes your modern current-gen games and turns them into retrotastic, beautifully pixelated classics or even text-based adventures from back in the time when graphics were an option, not a must. All because we know what GOG.com customers are all about--nostalgic gaming!

We've prepared a little [url=http://www.gog.com/retromator4000]preview[/url] of our fantastic app working its magic on three modern age classics: The Witcher, Alan Wake, and Dreamfall: The Longest Journey, so you can easily see the effect Retromator 4000 has on current-gen adventures, RPGs, and action games.

As we said, there's a public alpha version of the software coming towards you as soon as it's done, but there's still plenty of room for your suggestions and input. We would love to know how would you retromate your favorite game, so please--feel free to leave a mock-up screenshot or a piece of text-adventure in the comments below. There are 5 free games waiting for the authors of the best entries! One thing though, the Retromator 4000 will only be usable with DRM-free GOG.com games, so please limit your efforts to retromating only those.

Again, we're extremely happy to be able to introduce this new and exciting GOG.com feature. Please take a moment to see the preview, and maybe stay for the contest mentioned above!

*The estimated time of completion of the public alpha version is based heavily on fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics. In other words--we think that it might be done soon, but it just as well might take much, much longer. Also, in n-1 parallel universes, the Retromator 4000 is already available. The contest deadline is much more specific: Thursday, April 4, at 12:00 GMT.
Yes! I want PC Speaker, floppy swapping and unexplainable out-of-memory errors back! (Not.)
:D
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TheEnigmaticT: Mayyyyyybe. :P
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Dzsono: That's too bad, I would have reinstalled The Witcher 2 to play the text-based adventure!!!!
Witcher2's text version be damned, look at Dreamfall's text-version. It's not what you might expect.

Great job GOG guys. I'll buy a retromator 4k as soon as I receive my moon plot's deed. I've been told I'll get it by Gmail Paper next week.
I love this, awesome. Now you kids can see what gaming was like back in the 80's :P

Ahh, oops I fell for this one big time. Good one GOG, good one.
Post edited April 01, 2013 by oldschool
I knew this was a joke and I still got excited by the Dreamfall pic with the classic adventure game HUD :P It's nice to be able to see what's in the inventory at all times :D
Post edited April 01, 2013 by Jennifer
Nice April fools joke!

If there really was a Retromator 4000, I would REALLY like it to make a lot of newer games LOAD FASTER! I mean like what the Fast Loader did for the Commodore 64, but FASTER.

I want the Retromator 4000 to be able to load a game so fast that, it is up an running before I even turn on the power!
Since it is not loading all the fancy graphics, I'm sure it can load at this super speed.

It takes me about 48 seconds to get from double-clicking the shortcut to actually playing Chronicles of Riddick. And Riddick is one of the faster games to load. The game with the worst loading time in my short-term memory is SWAT 4(Not available on GOG.com at time of writing, but I sure wish it was*) at 4 minutes to get from double-clicking to playing.

Yes, give me a Retromator 4000 that dumbs down the graphics so much that the game loads faster than light.




*Side complaint story:
I bought SWAT 4 Gold from Direct2Drive and Gamefly took over Direct2Drive over a year ago and since then I cannot play it anymore because of the foxtrot-uniform-charlie-kilo-india-november-golf DRM.
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AndyBuzz: Man, fantastic find! +1 for the link. =)
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JMich: There are a few more, just search for 1995 style. Not all of them good, not all of them bad, but most are worth seeing.
Heh, thanks for the link man, +1
I hadn't thought about IRQ conflicts in over a decade. Thanks for bringing back the good old memories!
nice, very nice :)

reminds me of a Blizzard Aprils Fools where they announced World of Warcraft: The Molten Core with stunning 8-bit graphics, innovative "top-down" view, bosses, monsters who can be aggroed, and ... sound!
Absolutely brilliant. One of the best announcements today :P
I miss EMS management. Half the challenge of beating a game was always figuring out how to configure the memory to get it to run in the first place.
I always thought it would be cool for someone to make a demo of a game where the highest graphics setting was completely impossible to play ultra-high textures and 3d and junk, and then as you set the graphics lower and lower you got low-poly, then high-color 2D, then low-color 2D, then text.

As for my text adventure creation:

> Remove Party Member

Which member do you wish to remove?

> Minsc

Minsc: I am truly saddened that you wish Minsc and Boo to leave. If you have any need of a stout blade, and an even stouter man to swing it, do not hesitate to call on me.

> E

As you travel east to the Feldepost Inn, your elven eyes spot a bald man waiting in ambush.

You are attacked by Minsc and a Giant Space Hamster!!!


Thanks for the April Fool's Fun GOG!
Post edited April 01, 2013 by Tallima
Today is April 1st !
>:Loading ~UT2004

>: Mapname: Deck17

>: Players Joined: 4

>: Begin!

>: Player1 approaches...
1. Shoot Player 1
2. Exit game
Please choose option now.....
Haha, that was funny :)
Hm, using RetroMator on itself ...?

The idea of "skinnable" games is interesting, though.
Ah crap! I fell for April 1st.

It would have been so cool and there I was thinking, "How would they even convert games like Witcher 2?"