==== Overview ====
Civil Rights: Excellent (70)
Economy: Reasonable (32)
Political Freedoms: Superb (76)
The Free Land of Gogan is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Doctor Marcin with a fair hand, and remarkable for its national health service. The compassionate, intelligent population of 3.365 billion Goganians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it devotes most of its attentions to Education, with areas such as Religion & Spirituality and Defence receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Keanesomnia. The average income tax rate is 66%, and even higher for the wealthy. A healthy private sector is dominated by the Book Publishing industry.
Urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, kids laugh off vandalism and arson as "just fun", and birth rates have hit an all-time low. Crime is totally unknown. Gogan's national animal is the Goglodyte, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Gog.
==== Issues ====
3 hours ago: Gogan was refounded in Osiris.
2 days 19 hours ago: Gogan ceased to exist.
18 days ago: Gogan was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Largest Populations.
31 days ago: Gogan fell out of the regional Top 10% for Healthiest Citizens.
No changes in the overview (except the daily ranking line, population count and inherent randomness of statements), due to dismissing the issue last time.
A Grave Problem (issue 401) (#140)
As cemeteries across Gogan are beginning to reach their full capacities, citizens are demanding that the government step in to rectify the situation before the bodies start to pile up.
1. "The expansion of cemeteries must end if the remaining government land is to benefit the economy," says the Minister of Death, Chloe Love. "What I propose is that we declare all graves over, say, ten years old, as vacant. And then dump a new corpse in it. Hey, nobody objects to sharing a university dormitory with another person, why should they object to sharing their grave?"
2. "Burial plots are so expensive these days, few people are opting for them anyway," says Retirement Home owner, Harry Harishchandra. "Let's just go for that final push and make cremation compulsory. Some people may not be happy with it, but when you get right down to it, it's only setting fire to their loved ones against their will - you must agree that that's less important than expanding suburban development."
3. "This is horrendous," says Thomas Janssen, whose partner recently passed away. "Whatever happened to choice? When my Henry died, he was promised an eternal resting place; a place where his name would stand and he would be remembered. Having it disturbed by 'newcomers' or enforcing cremation is a slur against him and the rest of Gogan's deceased citizens! If you have any compassion in your soul, then you'll acknowledge a grave as being a sacrosanct area. The dead must be allowed to rest in peace."
4. "Burying and cremating the dead is such a waste..." says Beth Fellow, head of the Research Department at the McRonald's chain of fast-food restaurants. "They should be recycled for the benefit of the nation! We'll pay the families a little something for their loss, then mince up the bodies and put them in our burgers! I can't see any downsides, can you? It'd save space, recompensate the grieving, and supply everyone with a tasty snack!"
"Tourism Tanking!" Trumpet Tabloids (issue 402) (#324)
Following a public safety disaster of unimaginable magnitude - so extreme that members of your government only mention it in hushed voices, and only then in the vaguest of terms - Gogan's tourism industry has hit the rocks. Commentators from all walks of life have come to your office to offer their opinions.
1. "The government has to step in and do something, for once!" demands tour operator Violet Rifkin, visibly pulling her hair out. "If we'd had proper railings on the marina, that shark would never have gotten into the oil refinery in the first place! The government has to put better regulations in place to make sure disasters of this kind never happen again. And if we want to coax back the tourists we've lost, we need a whole bunch of new state-subsidised hotels, parks and tourist attractions. Shark-proof ones. Our economy will never survive without it!"
2. "Why waste more money?" grumbles middle-aged industrialist Efthamia Chandra, chomping on a fat cigar, "Look. I'm as sorry as the next schmuck for those poor farmers' ant epidemic. But we've got to realise that tourism is just not Gogan's strong suit; and that's not going to change, no matter how much the state spends. Hell, if the government really wanted to do something to fix our economy, it'd be to give everyone a healthy tax-cut and get rid of some of that environmental legislation - set up for the benefit of a bunch of tree-hugging foreigners, I might add."
3. "I think I've got another solution to this problem," says your shadiest government advisor, waving a magazine spread of bathing beauties sunning themselves at the Keanesomnia Grand Regent. "Now we're not goin' to be able to hide the fact that Keanesomnia is now covered in pink frosting, but... what if the inspectors an' tour guides an' all those types of folks just didn't notice all that mess? After all, we don't have the money to clear it all up, but I think we do have just about enough to dangle a few Gogs in front of anyone who wants to give our nation a good review. After all, a few firm golden handshakes never hurt no-one."
==== Public announcement ====
Will I and Maighstir continue slowing down the rate of updates about Gogan? Tune in next week (or the month after that) to find out if we're still on the same issues, or if we have (amazingly enough) moved forward!
(Uh, yeah, no giveaway this time, maybe for 500.)
