I'm playing with BGT... kinda the same deal. It does help to jack the pathfinding checks, but there are certain issues inherent with the engine. I've learned to live with it, and it's not nearly as frustrating as when I played BG1 when it first came out. But there are moments... wizall:
Yeah that nudging thing is immensely helpful. The Firewine ruins, Nashkel mines, and the sewers under Baldur's Gate are three places where the characters do some wacky shit. Like haul ass all the way around the map to get in front of the toon in front of them. It's soo irritating... but again, rare.
I'm playing C&C Red Alert at the moment and the pathfinding in that can be quite annoying too
"No - please, just because there's a bit of an allied units bottleneck that way, don't route yourself through the middle of the enemy base! No, no, not that way either, that's a dead end! What ARE you doing???!!?"