Stop pickin your nose!
Time's up for you, primate!
Any noise non-intelligent undead manage to make upon clicking them twice or so, especially in BG2.
Hi mah' nymes Caldo, n dis' iz mah brotha Krumm.
Me Gnarl! Me hungry!
Are you lookin at me? ARE YOU LOOKIN AT ME!?!?!?!

And Korax is absolutely hilarious.

And you should also click on all your party members, repeatedly at a time, as they each have 7 or so different lines (and most you don't hear, unless you click each of them 7x in a row), many which are funny or clever. TIAX rules all!

alright guys get your quote fix here

my fave one is "Hands up, kiddies, who wants to die?"

Quite a few ppl have heard that b4 i kill them in Duels :D (using scripts of course)

Drasus: Draw your daggers and spells and let's have at 'er! You've crossed our employers and this is as far as you're going to go, my friend. Should've known that lazy bounty hunting rabble wouldn't get the job done. Never settle for second best, I always say!

Protagonist: You want to know what I always say? "Always kill the mouthy one," that's what I always say.

Drasus: HAW! A good saying! I will use your head for a puppet and make it say it over and over while we drink large amounts of mead! Life is pretty good, you know?


Best exchange ever. Occurs at the entrance to the Cloakwood Mines, with the bounty hunters.

I'll do it, for a turnip.

Yeah I love that part. That, like many encounters in the Cloakwood, has interesting dialogue and is a challenging fight.

I'll limit my offerings here to quotes from villains as per the thread title. Perhaps a different thread can be started for quotes from others.

Also in the Cloakwood

Amarande: "Seniyad's followers are well known to me: you travel with the one known as Jaheira. Her naive views of society living in harmony with nature must be cleansed from the world, so that nature might regain the respect it deserves! As a Shadow Archdruid it falls to me to be the sickle that cleaves your parasitic taint from this forest! There will be no talking, no negotiation!"

And upon saying that he attacks by casting a spell that involves a verbal component. Kinda struck me as funny.

Northwest of Nashkel

Hobgoblin: "You there! I need some money & some healing. If you know what's good for you, you'll give it to me."

Party member w/18+ STR: "You've got to be kidding! You're one hobgoblin: why should we do anything but kill you?"

Hobgoblin: "Im a member of the Chill, the mercenary band. If you want all my friends breathing down your neck, then juss keep on pissing me off."

Party member w/18+ STR: "You're threatening us!? I think you've got things mixed up, you degenerate, foul-smelling beast. Before we end your miserable life you should do some begging, and maybe throw some information about these Chill."

Hobgoblin: "Wait! Hey, I'm sorry, juss don't kill me... please. I'll tell you about the Chill."

Party member w/18+ STR: "Go on."

Beregost in Chapter 3

Tranzig: "Why do ya bother me? Can't ya see Im in a hurry to get outta this damn town?"

PC: "Perhaps you can tell us WHY you are in such a hurry?"

Tranzig: "I'm not gonna tell youse guys anything. Git outta my face."

PC: "We won't bother you any longer."

Tranzig: "Ya better be sorry, and ya better never bother me again! Wait! You're (CHARNAME)! Well isn't this a nice surprise! Time to die!"

Confronting the Shade Lord (In BG2:SoA) with Mazzy Fentan in the party

Mazzy: "I would never join with you! Every fiber in my being would resist."

Shade Lord: "Hah, hah! So noble! A night on this altar would have made you a worthy consort. Don't look so harshly upon me. You would be a most evil Shade. The Laws of Chaos subvert. The noblest souls in life make for deliciously evil undead..."

Mazzy: "You will be fully dead when I am through with you."

Shade Lord: "Is this how you will have it? Regrettable, however, we'd have ruled these weak fools together... Come my shades, make short work of them and they shall join our army if not our family."